Life as a family of five...

I finally finished editing some of my favorite pictures I've taken so far of Paxton. Instead of just posting them on my blog I thought I'd take it as an opportunity to journal about the first few weeks of our precious babies life!

(The pictures really have very little to do with the text, they are just there so you can see little Paxton!)

I knew it would be wonderful to have a new baby in our home but I forgot just how awesome it is to have a newborn in the house!

My favorite thing about Paxton so far is how much he LOVES to snuggle. He loves it so much that I hardly even have to rock him to sooth him when he's upset, all he needs is to be held close to me and he'll calm down instantly. One of the hardest things for me since I've brought him home is feeling like I don't get enough time to just sit with him and enjoy this short sweet phase of having a newborn around.

Sleeping was rough the first week or so that we brought him home. One blessing of having big babies like I do is that they can go a lot longer in between feedings. With both Zack and Ben they were sleeping 4-7 hours straight at night the week I brought them home! Paxton on the other hand had his days and nights mixed up when I first brought him home so he'd sleep those long periods during the day and stay awake a lot more during the night. Newborns sleep most of the time anyway though so the night wakings still weren't very long. It only lasted about a week though and now he's only waking up once or twice during the night and goes right back to sleep after! I've already moved him into his own room so that Trent won't wake him up when he leaves for work in the morning and since he hardly wakes up it's been a really smooth transition for me as well!

Maybe it's weird to say but I feel like Paxton is a very happy little kid. "They" say newborns don't do social smiles but just can't agree with that. It "those" moments, the ones where we are able to just sit and enjoy little Paxton I swear he's smiling, maybe not always with his mouth but his eyes smile, I love that about him. I haven't been able to capture the exact expression with my camera yet...but I am trying! :) For some reason having a camera in my face doesn't illicit the same response! The boys simply adore Paxton.

Zack can't stop talking about how "CUTE" Paxton is.

He continuously names of features about Paxton that he loves; his feet, hands, nose, etc. I find it very precious that a little boy as young as Zack takes time to appreciate how cute a little newborn is.

I have been surprised at how helpful Zack really is with Paxton. He's old enough to know the things that work to soothe him and actually does a very good job at keeping him happy when I'm occupied with something else. He loves to hold Paxton or lay next to him and keep him entertained.

I'll be honest, I was pretty worried about how Ben would handle having a new little brother around. Ben is just barely 2 and had no idea how much our family's little world was about to change. However, Ben has handled the transition way better than I expected! He adores Paxton and has been incredibly gentle and loving with him. He loves to hold Paxton and asks "hold it" all day long. I'll give him to Ben and about 20 seconds later Ben says "all done!" and waits for me to take him back. :) My favorite thing is the Ben really struggles with Paxton's name and calls him "Packins" So cute!

I must admit though, it hasn't exactly been the easiest transition of my life. Trent was able to take the first week off work to help take care of me and the kids. I honestly have no idea how I would have made it through that week without him! I was getting very little sleep at night since Paxton had his days and nights mixed up and Ben, who has ALWAYS slept until 8:00am every morning, suddenly decided to start waking up between 5:30-6:00am every morning. The boys were thrown off because all the sudden I wasn't able to take care of them like I usually do, their normal routine was thrown completely out the window, and they were completely sleep deprived because of their early morning wake ups. Trent and I spent the week completely sleep deprived trying to keep Zack and Ben from beating each other up! It was crazy unusual because they are normally greatbuddies and their fights are short and rare. It was a crazy week but we managed to get through and were incredibly blessed to have meals brought to our home almost every night thanks to some great friends and my awesome visiting teacher who not only brought us dinner but also asked several other people to help out as well, it was SUCH a blessing for us!

The first week Trent went back to work probably could go on my list of top 5 of the hardest weeks of my life. The boys were still waking up excruciatingly early, were fighting pretty much non stop, and were frustrated that I wasn't able to take care of them like normal. I was still very sore from the c-section and just couldn't do the things I usually do. A lot of tears were shed that week by all of us! I was a physical and emotional basket case.

However, once the weekend rolled around and Trent was home again suddenly things started to return to normal. Paxton had finally figured out a normal sleep routine and started sleeping much better at night. I was starting to heal and could do a lot more for he kids which for some reason helped them to stop fighting. It was so strange, if I was sitting, they boys were fighting; if I was standing, whether or not I was paying attention to them, they were completely fine! I guess it upset them to see me being so lazy and resting all time!

Last week, as a gift straight from heaven, my older sister's kids got well and she was able to come see us. She spent half the week watching my kids, cleaning my house, and taking care of me. She is such a saint, seriously, I have no idea what I would do without her! She has always been the one I call when I'm going through a tough time, she's been my go to person for mommy advice, my counselor, my friend, a shoulder to lean on, you name it, she's always been there for me. Even at the end of pregnancy she was such a lifesaver.

The best thing about close friends and family is being able to just be yourself. It is so nice to be around people that if I felt like crap I didn't have to try to appear to feel better. If the dishes needed to be done after we ate dinner together, my sister would tell me to go rest and if I felt crappy enough I would just go rest instead of trying to do the work anyway. I've really been grateful lately for my relationships like that, the ones where I can just be myself. Of course I can be that way at home with Trent, but I've been incredibly grateful for the few and rare friends and family I have that I feel like I can simply just be the imperfect me that I am, my kids can fight and make a million mistakes around them, and they still love us without holding back one little bit! Sorry for the side tangent, luckily probably only a couple people will read this far down anyways haha!

Anyway, last week was spent finishing up the basement and getting ready for Zack's Birthday which was on Saturday. I didn't want him to feel cheated out of a birthday party just because we had the baby. In hind sight, I should have waited one more week to throw the party. But everything still turned out great! We had his birthday as the deadline to finish our basement and for the most part we made it! We still have a lot left to do but now we have a really fun and huge play area for the kids to run around in until we get some furniture. We are loving the extra space!

Life is finally starting to feel normal again except one thing, we have this beautiful perfect little baby in our home. I realized all over again what an amazing miracle childbirth is. There are so many things that can go wrong, in so many ways. Little Paxton came to us so quickly without any problems at all. He's perfect, the perfect addition to our family, and the perfect little baby for me to love and hold. I always wanted to be a mom but I really had no idea how awesome and amazing it would be. I am so lucky to have these 3 awesome little boys of mine and such an amazing and great husband. I have no idea how I lucked out so much!

His aunt Alana said this picture looks like he is telling me "you have no idea what you're in for with me mom!" and I totally agree! Can't get enough of that silly little smirk!